Okay! So I know that I am supposed to live a life where I don't hold on to anger, forgive people, move on from things that happened in the past, remember the good memories, the life lessons, yada yada yada... But I don't! I don't know how. Most of my life I behaved like a spoilt little brat and got away with it. Fought people, fought ideas, fought restrictions, like a perfect text book example of a rebel. But I was happy. My life had a purpose and even I didnt know what it was, everyday was just a new day. A new thing to be discovered, something new to be experienced. Now I feel like all that has faded out of my existence. It is no longer fun. Living has become burdensome. Things get tough. Not just for me but for everyone. But somehow (atleast in my mind) it is tougher for me. I go on each day but I have no purpose. Other than to exist, I have no reasons to do anything. I have no motivation to grow, I have no motivation to workout and be hot (even though I want to have a good body). I fail myself over and over again. Some-days it feels that if I disappeared tomorrow hardly anyone would notice. And if someone did notice, I doubt they would care.
I am not trying to be sad or a "debbie downer" with my post. I am simply trying to compare the different aspect of my life in the extremes it experiences.
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